Repentance: Why do I lie?

{This is the second post in a series on Repentance. I'm so glad you can share in what God is teaching me! Make sure to read the first post here to understand where I'm coming from.}


Like I mentioned yesterday, the Lord had been stirring my heart to repent for over a year. But I felt so much shame in my sin, that I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone. I mentioned a few things here and there to a couple close friends, but I never really let in how much of a problem it really was.

I was terrified of what they thought, which caused me to lie even more about my life.

After much work in my heart, the Lord urged me to get to the bottom of my sin.

I sat down with my journal and asked the question "Why do I lie?"

Let me just say, this wasn't an easy question to ask. It brought up all of my insecurites and fears. It reminded me of just how broken I am. It showed me my desperate need for grace.

And there are many answers to the question "Why do I lie?" but they are all rooted in fear.

I realized my biggest sin was not lying, but rather fearing what others thought of me more than I cared what God thought of me.

When you care more about what people think of you instead of obeying God, that's a problem.

I never thought I was much of a people pleaser. I'm confident (ahem arrogant), self sufficent, strong, independent, etc. I always did my own thing with out really caring what others thought. But right there in my journal I realized that I cared so much about my own image in the eyes of others I was willing to sin to maintain that.

Ouch.

I realized as I was writing out all the reasons I lie, that my own pride and self image had become the most important thing in my life. I was more concerned with not dissapointing others than I was with not dissapointing God.

"For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ." - Galatians 1:10

Living for people over living for God is a sin. Period.

And it causes other sin.

It's like an unraveling sweater.

Oh but once I found the root, once I found the tear in the sweater, I could stop it dead it its tracks.

By the grace of God, I could confront the real problem.

What is the real problem for you? Take a few minutes and journal and ask the Lord - "What is at the root of my sin?"

He will be faithful to show you the root of the problem. And he will be gracious to help you over come. Remember, God never brings up sin just to point and laugh, but rather so that we might find freedom in his arms as we give it over to Him.

Stay tuned for Monday's post - Bringing Sin from Darkness into Light.

Linking up with Faith Filled Fridays