You might have noticed the increase in posts about my singleness. Well that's not an accident. Although my singleness is nothing new (I've been rocking the single girl thing for 23 years now) my desire to blog about it is.
I recently got back from Allume and God challenged me in tons of ways. But the biggest is my focus in blogging and life. I expected to return from Allume with the desire to write a book, blog 50 times a day, grow my blog readership, and become a bajillionare by selling adspace on my sidebar.
And friends, the exact opposite happened. I actually came back from a blogging conference feeling like I should focus more on my real life. Focus more on the people God has already given me influence over. I came back more encouraged in my ministry to the amazing college students around me.
There was a moment when I was talking to Laura that I considered giving up blogging entirely. But I don't think that is something God is calling me to. Rather, I think God is calling me to reconsider my focus. To shift to an area that dovetails with the ministry I'm already in.
So what does this mean?
This means blogging about who I am, where I'm at, and what God is teaching me.
But I want this to be clear, I am not a "single blogger".
This is not what defines me. This is not my purpose in life. I am not the single girl.
I am a follower of Jesus.
And that is good enough for me.
I really fought this in my heart. I really really don't want to be the girl who blogs about singleness. I don't want to be lumped in with the "singleness" category in mainstream Christian culture.
Because to be honest, I sort of hate the way singleness is talked about and don't want to be that girl.
I'm not going to be the cheerleader who says "Singleness is the best!! It's always sunshine and roses and everyone should be single always! If you are single you should be proud and talk about it all the time! You will be the most happy if you never ever ever consider a relationship!"
Because it's not always sunshine and roses. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes a guy dumps you and you go home and eat a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. But sometimes it's wonderful and you love your freedom.
I'm also not going to be the girl who throws you a pity party for being single. For one reason, I am not good at being merciful, my truth meter is often way too high. But also, there is a lot of reasons being single rocks. And God calls us to be joyful in all circumstances, so if you come to me wanting a pity party I'll probably just tell you to get over it and thank God for three good things He has given you.
I don't want to be a "single blogger".
I want to be a Jesus blogger.
I want to point people to him.
I want to help people see the end goal of knowing Jesus and making him known.
And right now I just happen to be single.
My goal in this blog is to be real. To really show you what God is doing in my life. To be honest about my short falls and successes. To point you to Jesus.
So friends, thank you for being a part of my journey. Thank you for reading this chapter of my life. Thank you for seeing me as a follower of Jesus and nothing more.