Grey Tights and my Greedy Heart

This weekend I did 8 loads of laundry and all I could think about was how sad I was because my grey tights had ripped. I couldn't buy any new ones because I wasn't buying clothes. 

Stupid clothes fast. Stupid laundry. Why did I think this was a good idea? 

Well maybe I'll just cheat. Nobody would know.

What would one little pair of tights cost? 8 dollars? I could swing that. Nobody would know I broke my end of the bargain. It wouldn't break my wallet. Would it really be that big of a deal? 

I knew those words were dangerous. There are only a few times when I know that I've been directly told a lie from the Enemy. This was definitely one of those times. 

When my eyes are focused on what I can't have, they are ultimately focused on me not on Jesus. 

So I turned off Mumford & Sons, and I prayed. With each fold I pray for the hands that made it, likely the hands of a slave. I ask God to heal me of my materialism, of my selfish and greedy heart. I fold my 8 loads of laundry and I thank God for how he abundantly provides for me. I hear the spin cycle and am humbled that the water washing my barely dirty clothes is cleaner than what most of the world drinks. I sip my Earl Grey and plead for God to provide water. I thank Him for organizations like Healing Waters and Blood Water Mission.

In the middle of my piles of clean clothes I became a mess. 
Aware of my selfish heart. 
Desperate for God to clean me.

And my 8 dollars? That could have been spent in new grey tights? It went here

What can your 8 dollars buy? 

Meals for a family? Malaria medicine? Clean Water? Hope?