Saturday, December 14, 2013

An Open Letter to the Young, Single Girl

Hi friend,

Can I take you out for coffee? I'll order a vanilla latte extra hot and we can sit in the comfy chairs. My feet are tucked up under me and I lean in close to hear about your life.

You excitedly tell me all about your life. You tell me about your childhood and how you came to know Jesus. I ask about your family, your major, your roommates. We bond over our love of sparkly things and our hyper-competitive spirits. And because it's inevitable we start talking about boys, dating, singleness.

Oh sister, I hear you. You're new to college and there are so many cute boys. You meet guys who passionately love Jesus, maybe for the first time in your life. You have friends who are dating, maybe even friends getting married. It all seems so alluring and your heart aches. You want someone to lean over and whisper questions too during church, someone to text all your silly questions to, someone that will go with you when you don't want to go somewhere alone. You confess your fears that you might not ever get married.

Oh friend, I get it. Sometimes my heart aches for those things too. My initial reaction is to tell you "Oh honey, you're only 18, you have time! Don't worry!" and while that's true, it's not what I tell you.

Because the truth is that your fears and your feelings are real no matter your age.

Please friend, don't let me become that cynical older single woman who says "Oh you don't even know"

Because you do. You have feelings and fears and you know what it's like.

But sister, hear me on this. Those fears and feelings are real but they are not what should direct your life. Because the truth is that neither of us know if a husband is in the future. We don't know if that cute boy in our science class will ask for our number.

The one thing you can be sure will happen? Jesus will be there your whole life. He is our Emmanuel, the God who is with us. And even more so, He has given us His word, His perfect and unfailing word. That is your hope sweet little sister, that God and His promises are true. That He is the true lover of your soul.

Your fears and feelings, they will be ever-changing. They will ebb and flow through different ages and different boys. But God? He will never change. Set your focus on him, not on your fears. Hold fast to His promises that you read in the Bible. Cling like mad to the grace giving cross.

This grace, it will carry you, it will cast out all fear.

It's over a pumpkin scone and our now-cold coffee, I plead with you to look to Jesus and hold on to Him like mad because the ride is wild and your heart it fragile but his grace is and always will be sufficient for you.

This would also be the point in our coffee date where things would just just a little too sappy for me and I would probably make a face at you to make us both laugh.

But really, friend, tell me about your fears and your feelings. Tell me what kind of coffee you'd order. Reassure me that I'm not the only one who makes faces when things get too real.


  1. needed this awesomeness. Thank you

  2. This is an excellent post. My sister is 20 and single and has been voicing these fears--my gut reaction is to say that she's so young, that she doesn't know, singleness may be and often is a very fleeting time of adulthood and she shouldn't wish it away. But yes, as you said, no matter what comes in life, God will be faithful! And it's much better to set your hope in Him than in any frail human!

  3. I definitely needed this post today. Thank you!